ADOPTION + BABYWEARING

So excited to share the first post by Ashley Kriegel, who I first found on Instagram and instantly fell in love with her beautiful family! It wasn't until I dug a little deeper and saw her adoption story that I knew I needed to feature her on the Sakura Bloom blog. Enjoy her introduction! Xo, Kelly

For those who don’t know me from life or Instagram, here is a little bit about me! I am a wife, to my amazing husband Tim. I am a mama, to my daughter Millie and son Moses. Millie is our biological daughter while Moses came to us through private newborn domestic adoption. I would love to share more about how we got where we are today, but I think that’s for another day. We live in the most beautiful and weird city of Austin, Texas. And this little life of mine, I love it. Being a mom is everything that I’ve dreamt it would be. I have a degree that I will never use. I have a bunch of random little creative talents that probably won’t ever get me a “real job”. But, the thing I am most proud of being in this life, is what I am right at this moment. A mama. When you have had to fight to be a mom… when you have had that ache or the understanding that it might not happen again, it just makes motherhood that much sweeter. There is a part of you that knows not to take it for granted. That’s what has happened to me with our Moses.

Wearing my babies has always been something I have loved. The indescribable feeling of your baby melting into you. That moment when you are so focused on their breath going in and out that you almost, for just a second, get totally lost in each other. To me, that is soul filling. I don’t wear my babies because I have to; I do it because I completely and utterly want to. Before Moses was born, I thought that I would have to wear him; I thought that I would have to do skin to skin every single day so we would bond. I thought that I would have to fight for him to know that I was his mama. I was so terrified that when he came he wouldn’t know me or worse, that I wouldn’t know him… And then he was born.

During his newborn bath we had this moment. He held my finger and for what seemed like an hour, we just stared at each other. The nurse came by to do something so I backed up and let go, when I did this he screamed. I hurried back to put my finger back in his hand, and he automatically stopped. In that moment the room went quiet. And I became a mama again. There was never a moment of doubt. We were made for each other, me and him.

For me, wearing him has come so natural. Adoption at times, can feel so unnatural. There are parts of it that are so incredibly hard. That the world will never truly see, and that anyone outside of adoption will never truly understand. The moment that this incredible woman, that has made this perfect baby hands him to you; nothing can prepare you for that. It will forever be one of the hardest moments of my life. Wearing my babies is something that has connected motherhood for me, whether bio baby or adopted baby. A way to bring my babies in closer, a way to have a second of quiet when the world is moving fast around us. Both of my babies will know this. It has been such a gift. My babies have so very different beginnings and this is something that will be the same, something constant, and I will cherish it forever… thank you Sakura Bloom!